Facing Reality

Excitement is in the air as we count down the weeks till we travel to China. In just five weeks we are returning to the homeland of our 3 younger children. S.S.(now 11) and R.X.(now 9) were born in China and like many babies spent the first months of their lives in an orphanage. S.J.(age 8) is our youngest son and is 1st generation Canadian. I'll get to his amazing story at another time.

I wouldn't call this trip a vacation but rather a time of discovery. Our children are adopted and as a result pieces of their story are missing. It's not always easy to talk about what we don't know and often the tears roll down everyones' cheeks as our girls grieve what they have never known. Our girls deal with their loss in very different ways.

S.S. is very analytical and deals with the facts. She gets it and seems very accepting of the path her life is taking. When we have some mother and daughter time I am often overwhelmed by the depth of her thoughts and the logical way in which S.S. approaches her life. She has a humanitarian heart and sometimes I wonder if she will return to China as an adult in an effort to make a difference. Time will tell.

R.X. has a sensitive spirit and wishes for things that are out of her reach. She understands that there must have been a good reason that her birth parents had to entrust her life to people unknown but she is desperately searching for her identity. We talk about the sadness and we celebrate our family. We often reflect on how we have been woven together. More importantly, we give our children permission to imagine "how life might of been" or "what their birth parents were really like". We want them to know that we are there for them as they try to understand.

Tonight we watched this YouTube video:

This video opened the flood gates again as R.X. shared that she was happy to have her family but just wishes that she knew her birth parents. What does a mommy say? I wish that I could take the pain away but I know she has to go through the valley to rise up and feel strong. I hope that our trip to China gives her some of the closure she needs.

For S.J. this trip has a different meaning. He was born in Canada to parents who had just immigrated from China. His birth parents faced an incredible challenge as the doctors discovered that their child had Spina Bifida. Their decision to have him adopted is not for me to explain (at least, not at this time) and is certainly a decision to be respected. We are fortunate to have an open adoption. S.J. knows his birth parents. While we haven't seen them in a few years we regularly write and talk on the phone. When we go to China S.J. will be meeting 2 sets of grandparents, a great-grandmother, some aunts, uncles and some cousins. He will have a connection to his family and will understand the love. Nonetheless I'm sure he will still have some unanswered questions.

In preparation for our trip the children have written important letters. S.J. wrote to both sets of grandparents and the girls wrote to their orphanages. We have received letters, either by email or snail mail and have found out that we are welcomed to visit while in China. As a family we are making blankets for the orphanages and S.J.'s cousins. I have contacted our national, provincial and city governments to request lapel pins and started collecting other souvenirs to share while we are in China. We've started planning the packing and are completing the paperwork for the visas this weekend. Vaccinations were done a few months ago. We will be going to China with other families who have also adopted and there are many events planned. We will be going to a school and the children have already written pen pal letters. I guess we will have to think of a few good gifts to share with their new pen pals.

~Your children are like fingers; all similar, but no two alike.~

Easy Chinese Moon Cakes

Chinese Moon Cakes are usually very fancy and as a result hard for the ametuer chef to make. A web search for something we could make at home lead me to the recipe below. True to the name these cookies were easy to make and fun for the kids.

Easy Chinese Moon Cakes

1/4 cup white sugar
2 egg yolks
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup strawberry jam or red bean paste (which is used for a more authentic version)

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
2. Combine the butter, sugar and 1 egg yolk, stir.
3. Mix in flour.
4. Form the dough into one large ball and wrap it in plastic wrap.
5. Refrigerate dough for half an hour.
6. Unwrap the chilled dough and form small balls in the palms of your hand.
7. Make a hole with your thumb in the ce3nter of each mooncake and fill with about half a teaspoon of jam or red bean paste.
8. Brush each cake with the other beaten egg yolk and place on a cookie sheet.
9. Bake for about 13-15 minutes or just until the outside edges are slightly brown.

***One of guest had an egg allergy so we made an adjustment to the recipe: instead of stirring in an egg yolk use 1 tablespoon ground flax seed in 3-4 tbsp warm water (set aside for a few minutes) and melt the butter before mixing. Omit brushing the moon cakes with egg.***

The adjustments worked great and I think I liked the flavour better then the original cakes.

Hope you give this recipe a try!

Xin Nian Hao!

A great time was had yesterday as we gathered to prepare for Chinese New Year. I was a little worried when 3 of the young ladies helping prepare the dinner had a sleep over the night before. Given their lack of sleep I was quite thrilled to experience their high level of enthusiasm and attentiveness.

Here we are preparing the Jiaozi (dumplings)

While the ladies prepared the meal my husband and our youngest son, SJ put up the couplets outside our front door. These special couplets were made by an exchange student from Taiwan who lived with us in 2001/02 for 9 months. I can't remember what they say but I recall something about spring...yeah, that's a few weeks away :)
The beautiful lantern below was a gem we found a couple years ago hidden away at the Chinese Lantern Festival in Toronto ~ by the way~ an event well worth taking in.

The hard work was completed and we all had time for tea before the men arrived to this wonderful meal. 7 main course dishes were served along with drinks and some lovely desserts...

SJ certainly enjoyed the punch!
SS, our oldest daughter made Nian Gao and our version of Moon Cakes.

Then there were the silly but fun games... oh what you can do with a blind fold, rice and chop sticks!

The whole evening was a lot of fun. I hope that the children who attended learned a little about the culture that our 3 younger children share. Hopefully the ladies left with some new recipes to try and maybe, just maybe the men left with full bellies.

~Tell me and I'll forget, show me and I may remember, involve me and I'll understand.~

Chinese New Year - Canadian Style

So, tonight we started preparing for our family Chinese New Year Celebration. This year we are having 3 neighbourhood families and another good friend (yes Paula, that's you) over on Sunday to celebrate. In years past my husband and I would go crazy making a meal for 30 or so people, decorate, create crafts for the kids to do and plan games.
This year it was decided that since the younger kids are older now they should really be a part of the preparations. In fact, one of my daughters will use the experience to earn an interest badge in Girl Guides. Check out her planning meeting picture. She and a few of her friends made invitations, planned the meal and made the shopping list. R. took her role as Chairperson quite serious as she encouraged everyone to get the work done and of course, eat the snacks.
The plan... the ladies (young ones included) will arrive at 1:00 to help prepare the meal and the men will come later to eat it. We will make dumplings, garlic ribs, chow mein, Cantonese Pork, Bok Choy. We'll order out for egg rolls. For dessert we are planning to make Nian Gao and our homemade version of moon cakes.
Now my oldest daughter and I are off to Costco to make a few purchases.

A Starting Point

All to often we find it difficult to write down those stories that are most precious to us and before we know it our memory fades. I often cringe when one of my children says, "Mom, remember when..." and unfortunately I don't. So, in an attempt to remember all that is important to me I begin blogging. May my family enjoy my memories of how we were woven together by the hands of our Lord.